The LGBT version of youtube.
Life is amazing when we are loved by our own kind.
2.28.2009
Butch Femme
Posted by R. Cunningham at 11:23 PM 2 discussions
2.27.2009
weekend TO-DO list.
- apply at flower shoppe
- get gym membership
- call Alexis about photoshoot
- work on concentration piece
- go riding
- read Persuasion
- walk dogs
- put SDS pictures on flash drive
Alot of the time I really wish people would speak more articulately.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 11:48 AM 2 discussions
2.22.2009
wolf girl.
I block out my ability to love.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 9:31 PM 2 discussions
2.19.2009
Falter.
I have learned to never overestimate the good in life.
Lets just say Im back on "body" support.
Im coming off of a 5 week stretch of healthy-feeling-jubilee and Im only short 4 days of week 6 when my body completely fails beneath me. It could be declared as unprecedented, although Im sure its written in the history books countless times. The pain is back, rippling through ever muscle tissue and not even the hydrocodone helps me. Im back in my braces [knee and torso], barely making it through the past few days and Im leashing myself in, forcing myself not to complain or tell anyone what is really bothering me. I say its my life that I hate, seeing as that cannot be deemed a lie, because well, this is my life; endometriosis, anemia, poorly healed bone fractures and arthritis. this IS my life.
I think Ive found my outlet for pain.
I help others where no one else can help me. I try to be affluent with words and persuasive in morality when talking to the ones I care about the most. Hopefully I can save THEM before they become like me.
---------------------------------------------
AND if I had forgotten my love for theatre, it allllll came flooding back tonight.
I was like a silly kid in a candy store tonight.
Giddy, excited, jittery.
Something about looking into the rafters and seeing the different refractions of the light off of the grids that no one else normally sees, or noticing when no one else in the audience does that the light cue was just a fraction of a second too slow, or when after only seeing two rehearsals I can recite the actors lines when he loses his or her train of thought. That would probably earn me a freak-card but I dont care. Its a passion that I love, but cannot take part in unless its set design and construction.
AND in the senior directed shows tonight, specifically Speech and Debate, a play about two boys struggle with being gay and taking the responsibilities for it, the lovely Idina Menzel was referenced.
Ah theatre, how I love you so.
From the second Senior Direct:
Our dreams are beautiful, Our fate is sad- Shadow Box
Posted by R. Cunningham at 10:37 PM 1 discussions
Labels: endometriosis, health, theatre
2.12.2009
justin: one day, i will help though
bekah: :] yes you will
justin: if i get rich, im gonna donate so much money to endo research
bekah: march is endo month, wear yellow. mom and i are ordering the research shirts
justin: and get you a fuckin sweet kickass robot heart!
bekah: haha sweeeet, ill be bionic
justin: totally! and.. the best part is. itll be wired to your brain so when you're happy cause of love, itll glow
bekah: HAHA! AWESOME
justin: one condition though
bekah: it be?
justin: your first born's middle name must be megatron
bekah: just a spiced up form of megan, so ok :] lol
justin: YES! YES YES YES!!!!!! i would freaking marry you for that rofl.
the amazingness of the only straight man I have ever dated, that cares more about me that my own best friend...well he is sort of my best friend but he seems like a forbidden lover of some sort the majority of the time though.
anyways.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 11:13 PM 1 discussions
2.11.2009
I am unaverage.
I found out today that Im not the only one with no sense of smell!!
My publications adviser cannot smell anything either, but thats because she stuck a piece of aluminum up her nose as a kid thinking she could get radio transmissions and mine is caused by the endo-treatment [I think, I honestly dont know for a fact].
And she also smells with her mouth and her sense of taste is better as well. SO IM NOT ALONE.
Im sitting here in newspaper publication and we just put a paper out so we're just chilling out, eating reeses, listening to Lady Gaga, Enya, Tim McGraw and Ace of Base. Carl sings horribly, Katie laughs her cute laugh, Greg looks at random webpages, Grayson reads tabloids, Allie sings with Carl, Ryan is silent in the corner, Davonna is making fun of Brittney's music choice and Brittney is biting back, Ciera is talking about the JoBros, Raper is talking about getting old [pfft whatever, shes only 29], and here I am blogging, breathing fairly easy today and in a strangely good mood.
Headed off to English and then precal. And before I go all the way to the other side of the freaking campus Im gonna buy myself a Butterfinger- so I survive English with Malone...incredibly boring. HORRENDOUSLY terribly sadly un-entertaining. I need all the luck I can get to not snap on that class. We have the biggest bigot of the school in that class so yeah...it's a constant and daily battle to NOT rip his head off.
Ciao "D
Posted by R. Cunningham at 11:25 AM 1 discussions
Labels: blogging from school
2.10.2009
Feb 12, 2009
I wonder why I feel like this.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 10:24 PM 1 discussions
2.06.2009
12:04 PM February 6, 2009
When I woke up at 6 this evening, first of all I was surprised to find myself alive and not only that but it felt like there were a ton of bricks on my chest; and then it all came back to me.
A little after 12 this afternoon my heart stopped briefly, I lost all ability to breathe and my heart began an irregular rhythm, I would have blacked out if my art teacher Mr. Baker hadn't literally ran me through the masses of oblivious students to the nurses office where they only looked at me once and then pulled out the heart rate monitors, blood pressure pumps and the thermometers. I sat trying to compose myself and think about breathing so I wouldn't faint while 3 nurses were monitoring and holding me up. Then 5 minutes [which means she was probably going 80 on eldorado] later my mom is busting through the doors and I was rushed to Baylor ER where they took me to urgent care. Reality definitely sinks in when you're asked to sign a living will document, then all hell and worry breaks loose inside your head.
It turns out that my heart is swollen and the heart murmur they found twice before is more lethal than they initially thought. I am having a sonogram taken of my heart soon to know what it is. This has no correlation to my endometriosis, its just part of the life I will deal with for as long as Im on this earth. So here I am, on another months bed rest, cant breathe and worrying about dying at any minute. Will I ever know what it's like to be a normal teenager?
Posted by R. Cunningham at 7:27 PM 2 discussions
2.05.2009
Im depressed.
I give up on fighting it anymore.
Here it is. Here I am.
What do you do when you cant stop worrying about nothing. What do you do when you cant take the nothing away to eliminate the worry. Why is it that social interaction makes it harder to leave. What about friendship makes the heart ache even stronger. What would you do if you could never get warm. How would you react after touching hands with someone after a year and medias res of avoiding human contact. How would you remind yourself to breathe.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 6:24 PM 1 discussions
2.03.2009
Sorry, sorry, for making your life a living hell! RANT.
I have so many reasons to complain about my classes this year.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 9:31 PM 1 discussions
Labels: ex girlfriendette, GSA, homophobia, senioritis