its been a week and a half since my surgery and quite frankly...nothing has gotten better [i still wake up crying, stiff and hurting to the point where suicide sounds delicious and my stitches are coming out too soon, leaving my germophobe dumbass self freaking the hell out], not being super negative or anything but its the facts.
12.31.2008
All I want...is to be normal.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 10:18 PM 2 discussions
12.27.2008
Recovery Day 5.
PostSecret
It's the 5th day of my post OP after Monday's exploratory laparascopy and I feel absolutely, ridiculously, horrifically terrible. I wake up everyday feeling nauseous. Every time I stand up I have to do it slowly so I don't jostle my scarred organs too much. I have to maneuver myself in awkward ways so that I can get in and out of bed alone.
The surgery took an hour and a half longer than what they planned because they actually found what they thought was there: endometrial tissue covering my uterus and ovaries. Which proves to everyone out there, I do in fact have the disease Endometriosis and I will for my whole life. They had to make larger incisions to get to the scar tissue that covered the vital organs and burn it off. During that process they hit my ureter, so its been really hard to pee lately haha. And I also had to have a blood transfusion like they warned about, hip hip hooray. Its like starting all over, teaching organs and muscles what their function is.
Supposedly, my parents and nurse told me, I woke up from anesthesia screaming because they hadnt given me ANY pain killers; therefore I was granted 5 shots of morphine, mmm. And then I couldnt stop scratching my nose because the morphine made me itch all over and my pain meds that Im on right now do the same so I seem like a druggie because Im always scratching my nose haha.
It is so painful though, my dad said he was surprised that I wasnt in the "chewing nails" stage since its the 5th day of recovery. The pain killers havent seemed to help today, which is disappointing because they were working well for a few days. ANYWAYS more later, 4 more weeks of recovery to go. And in 2 weeks, NEW TREATMENT!
Posted by R. Cunningham at 4:54 PM 1 discussions
Labels: endometriosis, obstetrics and gynaecology, recovery
12.24.2008
12.21.2008
The Day Before Surgery
I think I just had one of the best moments with my mother.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 1:16 PM 1 discussions
Labels: endometriosis, obstetrics and gynaecology
12.17.2008
Smile.
Today my Mom self-identified herself with the most awkward, introverted, mother-hen type female contestant on "Mama's Boys" and she spilt out her feelings about hating the way it feels while driving to Barnes and Noble. She used to think it wasnt so bad but when she saw it on TV, for herself rather, she really got to thinking.
It made me feel horrible to hear the sadness in her voice after so many years of secluding herself from the world. A few years ago she shared with me that her biggest downfall was being so nice to everyone. My Mom was always the cheerful, happy, always smiling person that tried to make someones day better with a smile; until someone asked her: "why are you always so happy? why do you smile so much and never talk?" and that ended my mom's happiness for what seems like forever.
Up until recently [past 2-3 years] she was constantly looking for reasons to stay at the house. But when she finally pushed herself back into her normal routine and sought after a gym she found one special lady that made her day better, with a simple smile. Now she has weekly 'coffee dates' with her girlfriends and they plan parties situated around each others lives as well as their simultaneous parties so they can all be at the same ones together... and all because someone finally smiled back at her. And it really makes me wonder; why arent there more people like my Mom and her friends?
Posted by R. Cunningham at 11:43 PM 1 discussions
12.07.2008
My newest favorite word.
FUCK.
FUCKING.
i use it as an adjective.
it makes me feel alive and serious.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 8:03 PM 0 discussions
12.05.2008
Blogging from school...
It's really sad that all I have to be excited about when I wake up is that I got a good nights sleep.
And then an hour after waking, my enthusiasm starts to weaken and I remember that all 5 of my dreams from the "good nights sleep" were about a girl I should really just give up on.
I still find it fascinating that I can post to my blog from my school's publication center while Im supposed to be writing about our GAY STRAIGHT ALLIANCE [suck it homophobe conservatives] and making the design that is due in 2 days that has not even been thought about. No design exists, no stories are done. Next week should be fun.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 11:09 AM 1 discussions
12.03.2008
12.02.2008
Dec 2nd
My last blog was the stupidest thing I have ever written. Oh well, we move on.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 9:41 PM 2 discussions
12.01.2008
Running.
Oh running shoes, you fantastic concoctions of leather and nylon.
PUMA you have my soul.
Underarmour, ah how warm you keep me.
Soffe's you hide my ass from the outside world.
Goody, you hold my loose hair back from my sweaty face.
Thank you.
Posted by R. Cunningham at 5:44 PM 0 discussions