I have no witty title for this one, my apologies.

Im starting to feel sad again :/ With school getting closer the nerves are starting to set in and my inner pessimist is starting to give me doubts about making friends, staying organized, etc...

It will also be my first time really away from my parents, which could be both a blessing and a rude awakening. This summer Ive tried to seperate myself from them as best I could. Im not really sure how well I really did though.

School also means the potential end to my new-found love for ballet. Ive convinced my parents to let me try combining ballet and school for the first month at least to see if I can handle them well, but Im afraid my mom will win the battle with her "school is more important than fun" argument.

Today I went to my high school to get a renewed transcript and decided to visit my old art teachers. I walked in and just sat my stuff down, popped up onto a table top, sat indian style and Cobb, Baker and I started gabbing about our summers and the upcoming school year. They dropped everything they were doing to talk to me. They even said my arrival really didnt surprise them because they've grow to be used to my constant presense [positively] in the art room; it warmed my heart. It also brought down another wave of sadness, Ill never walk those halls again or make a quick detour to my beloved art room to get away from something ailing me...it was my safe haven for so long and now it's in my past. Cobb and Baker said they would tweet me [LOL] with constant updates about their idiotic classes as well as their great ones because they know Im not ready to just be thrown out into the world. All my little baby friends are seniors now and although they'll be fighting off senioritis each and every day of this upcoming year I know they'll look back and admire their art teachers.

After I left Wakeland I made a quick stop [more like 2 hours detour] to the local public library to find something to distract me from my worried thoughts. While I was there I ran into a classmate that works at the coffee shop inside the library, turns out they need baristas and I just lost my barista job due to them closing...I may just have a job for 2 weeks before school! I need all the money I can get. While I was there I picked up a book called Are There Closets in Heaven? A Catholic Father and Lesbian Daughter Share Their Story and Astonishing Splashes of Colour. I was inspired to get the first book by a girl Ive come to be great friends with this past year. Although we've never met in person I am strangely attracted to her personality and all that she's about. She's Catholic and finds love in women, she doesnt necessarily define herself as a lesbian but she doesnt deny her love for a girl either. Im reading it, hoping it'll present something inspirational that maybe will encourage this girl to be true to herself, before others.

The second book just looked interesting :P

Tomorrow brings on busy-ness and exhaustion.
I have to call Mrs. Duston [orchestra/private lesson teacher who's become more like a sister/best friend to me now that Ive graduated] just to chat, because she wants to, I find it funny :]]
AND my stable's owner to make sure the arena is dry
...then ab work and ballet stretches
and THEN if the arena is dry I have at LEAST 3 riding lessons to give later in the evening
...and then when I get home I have strength training and 3 miles to run.

oh yes...bring it on.

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