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I dont know what Im doing.
Am I testing my sanity?
My ability to cope with unrequited love?

I know I dont love Lauren as a person anymore...but what we had Im still in love with. I think Im just in love with love. I havent had "love" for a while and when I hear about everyone else's "love" [love being the warm fuzzy feeling with another person, not sex..which it started to sound like...still hate sex though, Ive quasi-decided not to have sex until I find "the one" again...sex/love sucks].

Dottie Spot.

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This morning I lost the longest lasting part of my childhood.
My 14-year old purebreed Dalmation went to heaven shortly after I left for school.
My whole family is broken by this, it was all of a sudden, really unexpected.
Rest in peace Rebekah's Promise.

School District Crisis.

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Its crazy how badly my parents attitudes towards me affect me.

Yesterday, my teacher turned me into the principal for having nudity in my portfolio.
After a whole year of her approval on the subject matter of my portfolio...she turned me in.
So basically I lost all of my portfolio and my parents are fighting the school system. And now I have to come up with a whole new portfolio with 12 new pieces...in a week. Because of this my parents are extremely furious and they wont get off my ass about getting all these new pieces done. When Im leaving the house to go to my best friends house they give me the look I hate, the look thats like..."you know you should really stay here or we'll be disappointed" so I leave really pissed off because of something so small. I just constantly feel like I cant do anything right.

Not to mention, my teacher just undermined me and Im pretty sure the principals at school think Im a pervert lesbian. Which Im not, my artwork was very tasteful. Ugh.

04. 23. 09

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5 minutes left of newspaper.
listening to Rammstein, loving the german, because i innately understand it, which amazes me.
the rest of my day will suck.
english -> timed writing and peer editing with idiots for classmates.
precal -> quiz and skill check in a class that constantly makes my head spin and makes me feel like an idiot. hate feeling like an idiot. especially when im used to being a f-ing genius in everything i do.

BLARGH.

Oh the adventures we art kids have.

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"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.”

Here is the way things went down in Houston this weekend:
1. leave Wakeland at 9:30.
2. rain starts beating down the suburban.
3. cant hear our own thoughts.
4. we all study AP english together.
5. sleep.
6. run through 3" of water to McDonalds.
7. drive only 40 mph in a 70 mph zone.
8. stop at Pizza Hut, shut that down.
9. get to Houston, check into hotel.
10. go to Kemah Boardwalk and watch 2 people get drenched by a giant wave.
11. hurricane blows in over night.
12. go to University of Houston, wonder around, view fantastical art.
13. photo-stalk a beautiful lesbian. mmm.
14. stand under a tent with Elizabeth and Alexis and take pictures of the lightning in the field a mile away from us and then get knocked off of our feet by the impact.
15. run inside.
16. consider taking the elevator until the weather jolts the power off and on again.
17. realize not taking the elevator was the smart thing to do as we witness 5 people being pulled out of the elevator after being stuck for 10 minutes because of the power outage.
18. become depressed by the awards ceremony.
19. become camped out at the U of H because waters of 5' are blocking every exit out.
20. 3 hours later than we should have left we leave the University in a rush with everyone else trying to escape.
21. encounter the 5' waters and decide that staying another night is better for our safety.
22. stop at Schlotzkys for food, shut that down, because we're lucky like that.
23. sit in McAlisters for 2 hours calling hotels trying to find open rooms with no luck.
24. employ my father, who has connections, to get us rooms.
25. get to our incredibly nice hotel.
26. nude picture party.
27. sleep.
28. drive home.
29. sleep all day & night Sunday.

VASE WAS AMAZING.